When I read everywhere that physical and sexual abuse are in fashion, I wish that it was seven years ago; getting fucked while having my head bashed against the railing of the bed would have been much more fun.
In 2012, the furor was such that it was impossible not to constantly hear people raving about Christian Grey and his 'expensive hobbies' and how he was so attractive that only 'holy cow' came remotely close to conveying the extent of his beauty and charm. Based on stuff I had gleaned here and there, like all those who had not read the book, I still gathered that there were whips and sexual domination in Fifty Shades of Grey. I felt personally offended when I saw that the book which apparently glamorised sexual abuse was being sold in my local Tesco. Anyway, eventually I decided that I did not have to read it if I did not want to and I should take a chill pill and stop acting like a stuck up b* about it.
However, a few days ago things changed, and Fifty Shades of Grey started occupying my mind again. No, not because I was enthralled by Mr Grey's grey eyes. I told one of my students that she should read and she assured me that I need not worry because she was reading Fifty Shades of Grey. With a little twist of the face which I think signified shyness or embarrassment she added that it was a bit 'naughty'. I liked that she told me the truth, but the thing is, she did not think that there was anything too wrong with her statement. According to her the fact that Fifty Shades of Grey has sold millions and millions of copies makes it fine literature. I did not want to discourage her from telling me stuff in the future therefore I did not express my dismay. But, it greatly worried me that she was reading Fifty Shades of Grey at 14. She tells me it is naughty and a bit bad but romantic, apparently that is how love goes.
By the way, at the time when I was being drowned in too much Fifty Shades of Grey, I lived in the north of England, now I work in a minuscule island in the middle of the ocean, very very far from the western world, although admittedly there is a lot of western influence here. This island is very remote and pretty conservative but a paperback copy of Fifty Shades of Grey still found its way into the hands of my 14 year old female student. My student does not know her rights yet, she does not even seem to know what is right and wrong but what she does feel is that a rich, handsome man is always desirable, no matter what he does to you. She tells me that love changes people. She might be right, what do I know? I am just a weather-beaten formerly abused adult who no longer has the stars of youth in her eyes. Yet, I do need to read this book and understand what is shaping her understanding of love and romance because even though in this country you can't talk to your student about sex unless you want to get sacked, I cannot risk letting her believe something which will make her a willing victim tomorrow.
